How To Survive Your Daughter's Wedding

It doesn’t matter how close the two of you are, planning your daughter’s wedding with her can be one of the most stressful experiences of your life. Your emotions, her emotions, the stress and logistics of the big day, it’s an argument waiting to happen at the very least. Follow our top tips to ensure you navigate the waters with grace and your relationship emerges stronger from the ordeal.

Image Source: Christopher Cornelius

  1. Spend Time Together

A wedding is a pretty all-encompassing thing once it builds up momentum. Before you know it you only ever see each other for dress fittings, bridal shows and venue tours. Colour schemes, centerpieces and cakes are the only topics of conversation you cover and you only ring each other to discuss a novel idea you’ve seen in the latest bridal mag. Well, stop! She’s got friends and bridesmaids she can talk these things through with. Yes, she want’s your opinion and yes, you want to give it but steer the conversation away from the topic when you can. Make a date to spend time together and ban all wedding related talk for a few hours at least. Offering your daughter a haven from the stresses of the wedding will go a long way towards preserving your friendship.

  1. Listen to Her

Even if she’s got the budget you wish you’d had or less restrictions when planning her big day, it’s important to remember that the day is hers. Not yours. If you see a great idea for a centerpiece by all means share it with her, just don’t be disappointed if she goes in a different direction. Arguments over style choices can become ridiculously bitter and at the end of the day, they’re not worth it. Neither of you will remember whether the blue carnations or white roses looked better twenty years down the line. You will remember the arguments and upset at what should have been a joyful time.

It’s important too to get her thoughts on outfit ideas for the mother of the bride. Some brides are very traditional, others are happy to play free and loose with style. Don’t assume you know which side your daughter falls on. Ask her opinion. Does she want you to wear a specific colour? Would she prefer you to wear a hat or a fascinator? Giving her some say in your outfit will prevent her feeling upstaged or let down on the big day. Just remember to share your insights with the grooms mother as well, for the sake of family harmony if nothing else.

  1. Take The Strain

Organising a wedding is one hell of a job. It’s far too much for one person so make sure you take some of the strain off her and help out. If she’s not keen on delegating, offer support in other ways like cooking dinner or researching contractors. If she is happy to hand over some jobs, make sure you know exactly what she wants. Don’t take over or impose your ideas on her big day (inadvertently or not). After all, you are her main support system. If she doesn’t feel like she can trust you with her ideas, she’s not going to include you in planning the biggest day of her life.

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